“We are the weirdos Mr.”

A pale base coupled with heavy black eyeliner is the trademark of any self respecting goth-girl. Multiple piercings and an inclination for categorising blood as a food group won’t hurt the image either. Just joshin’! After all, it’s those kinds of negative assumptions that kept the idea of "goth" as a fashionable and inspirational concept out of the mainstream beauty/fashion world for so long. My first inkling that the goth look may not be so freaky but actually, dare I say, sexy-with-a-hint-of-mystery was watching the 1996 teen hit The Craft at a year seven sleepover. Those Craft gals sure did a favour for the hotness factor of witches everywhere.

Bonnie, Nancy, Sarah and Rochelle - The Craft

A more modern interpretation of this style has been revived and revamped (ha) in recent years thanks to our good friends from Forks and thousands of teenage girls all over the globe. As a result of having a Ukrainian father and Australian mother, I have the type of olive skin that when kept away from the sun’s ageing rays goes a weird yellowy colour instead of a creamy, delicate white. This said, the goth look has never really been my cup of tea (I prefer T2’s French Early Grey) however when embraced with a modern centre part, black colour palate broken up with rich blues , fiery reds and thick face-framing brows I am ALL for it. Would you just look at these bad-ass babettes below, what minxes!  

Images courtesy of Oracle Fox

If you are interested in giving this style a whirl and trying an eyeliner that will not only stay put all day, but have you looking all come-hithery, then you must try MAC’s Eye Kohl in ‘Smolder’. This soft kohl pencil is ideal for doing your waterline, and will really make your eyes pop no matter if you have baby blues or dark and stormy browns. Now, just to be clear, “waterlining” is when you apply liner to your inner lash line. This is achieved by gently pulling down the bottom eye lid and lining in that damp, fleshy bit between the lashes and the eyeball – sounds gross but has the effect of giving you sultry eyes like Mila Kunis.

MAC Eye Kohl in Smolder, available from Myer RRP: $32.00

Mila at this week’s SAG Awards, image courtesy of Primped

Note: Parlour and Loot was ecstatic to find out that Mila Kunis is Ukrainian! Totally going to claim this and try find out if we are distantly related. I kid, I kid. Well sort of …

Will the blondes in the back row please stand up

Before you go rushing into your hairdressers asking for a block colour semi to fight the effects of too much summertime saltwater, sun exposure, chlorine and being far too lazy social to maintain weekly treatments, check out these pink pouted/honey-hue tressed vixens.

Image courtesy of They All Hate Us

Now, hair like THIS doesn’t come easy, and YES they most definitely would have had a hair stylist on hand to help them look this delightful, but there is a way to cheat this, “my hair is oh-so-shiny even though I'm blonde, don’t you just want to run your fingers through it?” look at home.

Schwarzkopf Extra Care 10 Carat Shine Gloss Finish Spray. This stuff is genius! Just brilliant and sooo easy to use. If like me, you have straight annoyingly flat hair, spray this wonder gloss onto towel dried hair and comb through to ensure even distribution before styling as usual (applying onto dry hair is just plain silly for us flatheads as it will look all greasy like you didn’t just spend 45 minutes washing and drying to goddess like perfection).

For those of you with some enviable curl, tame that mane per your normal routine then spritz 10 Carat Spray sparingly from 20-30cm away and watch your hair sparkle as heads turn in your wake.

RRP: $8.99



Available at Priceline for just nine clams, this prod is a steal and extremely easy way to attain perfect-girl-hair for a night.

So tell me beauties, do you have any fail-proof remedies for making your hair shine?

LEAPIN' LEOPARDS

You’d have to be unconscious not to have noticed  the influx of leopard print clothes and accessories stomping the sidewalks, and taking up most of the rack space at Sportsgirl (selfish or what!) as we made our way through 2010.

Breezing on into the New Year, my leopard lustings are still alive and badgering me to feed them, even though they just had a vintage bangle and raw silk scarf. Here's some leopard inspo I’m seriously coveting today.

This last one is of me doing my best impression of 'daytime-leopard' at

 Sunset Sounds 2009. Images courtesy of We Heart It, Oracle Fox, Polyvore and Moi.

What's metallic green, French in origin and unavailable till February?

Whether it be J-Lo and her long term relationship with bronzer and a nude lip, Olivia Palermo’s perpetually perfect EVERYTHING or Taylor Momsen’s heavy-handed black eyeliner, most gals have a signature beauty look they’re famous for within their circle. My own title would probably be something along the lines of, oh I don’t know, the Nail Polish Queen. This is something I am a tad OCD about, sometimes changing the colour up to three times per week (I know).

Luckily for me, 2010 was a stand out year for nails; from dove greys, to the taupe/beige days to metallic gold, however no trend was so widely embraced as Chanel’s powder blue hue, Riva. Since the models were sent down the runway at the Cruise 2010/11 show with pale blue painted talons, there have been dozens of imitations available. At one point you couldn’t walk into a bar in Brisbane or Sydney without knocking over three balayage haired, YSL Arty Oval Ring wearing babettes donning blue nails. For this Mr Karl Lagerfeld, we thank you.

My brighter, turquoise-y take on the trend with Orly Gumdrop (from the Sweet Collection) RRP: $18.95

Chanel has undeniably stepped over the traditional nail brands (in its stacked clogs) to take the crown of Trendsetter For Polishes, with its latest “IT” colour being unveiled at the Spring/Summer 2011 show. With its almost inky black, gun metal/pearly green hue, I have no doubt Chanel’s Black Pearl and its counterfeit cousins will be massive in 2011.

Chanel Le Vernis Nail Colour in Black Pearl RRP: $40.

For those of you who can’t wait till this gem hits stores on the 20^th of February, I’ve compiled a list of cheap affordable yet still adorable fakes.

Chi Chi  - Show Me The Money $4.95

OPI  - Here Today… Aragon Tomorrow $19.95

Sally Hansen – Gunmetal $6.95

Butter – British Racing Green $22.00

I busted out the Chi Chi option on New Year’s Eve to mixed reviews. What do you think beauties? Will you be rocking deep, inky green nails anytime soon?



Today I woke up looking like a troll

Upon awaking from a deep slumber in the middle of the Enchanted Forest this morning, I quickly realised two things.

1)      My name wasn’t Snow White.

2)      Usually delightful and well meaning friends turn into long nosed Pinocchio’s at 11:30pm on a Tuesday when they pour you another glass of wine at dinner and proclaim, “You’ll be fine for work in the morning doll.” Yeah, right on!

Stumbling into the bathroom for my usual morning routine of; cleanse, tone, eye gel, serum, sunscreen moisturiser and primer, things got progressively worse. A troll from a nearby bridge dwelling had broken into my house and was standing in front of my mirror.

Dehydrated, green tinged, sallow looking skin – check. Nasty black circles setting up camp under the eye area – check. Wild, swamp creature-esque hair – check. Transforming this beast into a real life looking girl won’t be easy, however Parlour and Loot has a few helpful ideas for when one finds herself in this predicament.

Illuminating Foundation. This is KEY when one is hung over, tired or dehydrated from a 20km marathon. Now, I know that in this situation, it’s extremely tempting to reach for your “thick as paint! Makes me look all Blake Lively-ish in photos” foundation, but trust me when I tell you that a heavy foundation (especially powder-based ones) will only make your skin look more lack lustre. Not to mention it will start creeping into the fine lines of your skin making them look all obvious and attention seeking. (Like Khloe Kardashian’s new red hair. Ok, that was mean but hey, I bet Kim was pissed when Khloe stole the limelight with her new locks at the 2011 People’s Choice Awards).

Rimmel's Recover Illuminating Anti-Fatigue Foundation is a smart choice for combating dull skin as it uses a complex of spherical powders (white pearl and blue pigments) to visually illuminate the complexion and conceal pesky things such as imperfections and dark shadows. Note: Sculling a litre of water with some lemon in it won’t hurt either! Illuminating foundations reflect light off your skin so they have the added benefit of making you look as though you have a professional lighting team following you around all day.

RRP: $18.95

Now to tackle the hair. At this stage in the game, I’m guessing those locks have already had a shitload of heat and styling products bestowed upon them and are crying out for a repair masque, but guess what sugar plum? There’s no time! Girl works hard for the money and must get her derriere into work pronto. Instead of trying to tame that bed hair “look”, we are going to work with it! Firstly, do not brush your mane; this will only make it look fluffy and possibly dirty. Instead tip your head upside down and spray a small amount of sea salt spray (I like David Babaii for Wildaid Bohemian Beach Spray $23.70) through the mid-lengths and ends and scrunch with your fingers to add some texture and definition so that this style looks purposeful and not accidental. Then flip your head back up and create either a middle or side part. Take the lengths of your hair to one side of your face and make a dishevelled plait starting just below the ear. If you have any stray layers hangin’ loose on the opposite side, make sure you pin them as we are aiming for “bohemian-chic”, not “I’ve been rolling around in the gutter with a strange animal”. Secure your plait with a clear hair tie when it's three quarters down the whole length of your hair and tousle the ends with your fingers.

 Alexander Wang S/S 2010

While you may not look exactly like your usual million dollar self, these two easy steps should help you achieve a classy imitation. Good luck beauties!



Twist it real good

Dang December! Where did you come from?  If like me, you’ve found yourself knee-deep in the festive season without much thought given to the appropriate hairstyle for sleigh rides and mistletoe pashes then turn down Mariah Carey’s 1994 Merry Christmas album and pay attention.

Many gals look forward to their annual Christmas party for the free food, alcohol and passes they get to make at shy Daniel from the graphics department. The catch however is that most of these holiday parties take place straight after work, when one is FORCED to take her look from day-to-night within the confines of the staff bathroom. Hello glamour! Not to worry, Parlour and Loot has the fail proof hairstyle needed to take you from office-drab to party-fab in 56 seconds (yes I timed it, I’m nerdy like that).

On the morning of said party wash and towel-dry your locks then work through a volumising mousse with your fingers before blow drying as usual. L’Oreal Professional Texture Expert Expansion volumising cream mousse is fab for adding texture and body to the hair and I can vouch for its delicious salon-y scent.

Available in a wide range of salons RRP: $35.

After blow drying, pull your hair back into a sleek ponytail at the crown of your head. Twist the ponytail into a top knot and secure with bobby pins before spraying with hairspray.

When six o’clock rolls around undo the restraints, flip your head upside down and brush gently to separate the soft waves that have been created. Now part your hair on the side and smooth down any flyaways. Take a 4cm section from each side of your part twist loosely and secure back with a bobby pin that matches your hair colour. And there you have it, a flattering this-took-no-time-at-all party appropriate ‘do.

Hot tip: Make like Lauren Conrad, the queen of this style, by taking sections of hair that are not pinned down and placing them over the bobby pins, hiding them from sight and adding an extra polished look to this style.

Holy stone fruit, it's Summer

Growing up in North Queensland in the early 90s it’s fair to say I have a penchant for a particular shade of fuchsia, pedal pushers and picking (read: stealing) fruit from  my neighbour’s trees. Peaches, plums, avocados and mangos! These sun-warmed delights were well worth the scratches on my 10-year-old knees from climbing over the back fence.

Fast-forward fifteen years. I’ve swapped the pedal pushers for pencil skirts and if I’m talking about plum or mango  you can bet your last icy pole I’m talking about how, “that cherry coloured lip stain will really bring out the ‘burnt caramel’ hues,” in my friend Shay’s fading balayage.

There’s just something about summer time that screams, “PUT AWAY THAT NUDE MAKES-YOU-LOOK-LIKE-YOU-DON’T-HAVE-A-PULSE LIP GLOSS AND TRY A POP OF COLOUR!”  It’s this internal monologue running through my head each time I “put my face on” (Like Donna the 53-year-old Keno player at the bowls club) that brings me to why I’m harping on about colours that are usually only found in fruit salad.

The Innoxa Couleurs D’ete Summer Matte Collection boasts a delightful shade of tangerine aptly named Sunset, which is everything a bright lipstick should be – matte yet creamy. Mmmm.

 

Infused with moisturising jojoba oil, this baby doesn’t get all nasty and flakey mid-afternoon but instead leaves your lips feeling full, smooth and luscious hours after application. And the bonus of being brave enough to wear a bright lippy? Your teeth look whiter and your (fake, of course) tan looks deeper.  Ahhh beauty trickery what would I do without you?

This little gem comes in twelve delectable fruity shades and only costs a measly $14.95!  Way less than a real sunset costs. I kid, I kid. On a more serious note; this is a limited edition prod, so put down the knitting and get yourself to the shops ASAP because I have a feeling they won’t last much longer than Heidi Montag’s “acting” career.